Most of my time as a writer is spent bemoaning the current state of college football or breaking down obscure scenes from “The Sopranos” that no one has thought about for 20 years, but occasionally I like to stray from my lanes and venture into some weird territory.
One vertical I have found myself occupying fairly frequently as of late is the artificial intelligence debate and whether we are all doomed to an eternity of servitude under our robot overlords.
Yes, much like the guy standing on the corner brandishing the “End Is Near” sign, I have tried my best to warn you all that AI is coming for us all in the end, and earlier this week I received a much-needed piece of validation from China.
A robot adorned with a clown wig was putting on quite the martial arts demonstration at a popular tourist destination in Xinjiang, when a young onlooker almost became an unwilling victim of the upcoming war between humans and AI.
CHINESE ROBOT’S KUNG FU MOVES WILL MAKE YOUR JAW DROP
First and foremost, as was first reported by Shanghai Daily, the child was not seriously injured, so if your first instinct was to fear retribution for laughing at the visual of a humanoid robot doing a Rex-Kwan-Do routine in a clown wig and rocking some little kid in the chest, then worry not.
He’s fine!
I also love the immediate reaction from Jack-AI Chan after making hard contact with the kid’s diaphragm.
APOCALYPSE NOW? WHY THE MEDIA ARE SUDDENLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT AI
It looks like a toddler that just got caught with its hand in the cookie jar, standing perfectly still before realizing what it had done and taking a few steps back before a nervous little dance.
I thought that sequence looked familiar, because it’s basically what my two-year-old son does every time he knows he did something wrong.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
In fairness to RoboClown, that kid was standing directly in the path of its kicks.
Someone probably should have grabbed that kid before he went home with a mechanical footprint stamped onto his rib cage, but all’s well that ends well, I suppose.
Just remember this video 50 years from now when you’re teaching your underground history class to a young team of resistance fighters during the AI Wars.
When someone asks who fired the first shots of the conflict, show them the video their history books omitted, and Godspeed to all of you who never say “please” and “thank you” in your ChatGPT prompts.