Happy Thursday the 13th. It’s Friday the 13th, but sexier. But hey, looks like it’s time for…
SONG: If you’re obsessed with crime, it’s the perfect time. You’ll get off scot-free in every damn city. And for all you squares out there, stay above the fray. Let’s summarize this mess in a round up way. It’s crime round up Thursday.
It’s crime round up Thursday, just flows right off the tongue there. First, let’s go to “The View” where I’d like to report a murder.
THE VIEW/GERALDO RIVERA: I was fired from the five. I had a very toxic relationship with another of the cast members.
THE VIEW/JOY BEHAR: Which one?
THE VIEW/GERALDO RIVERA: I may, I may get there. I may get there… Also, I thought that it was very unfair that I was not judged objectively in our disputes, but rather he was always favored.
No, no, no, no, no, poor thing. In lieu of flowers, we set up a GoFund me page to get him a barber. But I credit the view for finally finding a guest with a bigger mustache than their panelists. Yeah, they’re a hairy bunch.
CALIFORNIA DEMOCRAT REVERSES POSITION ON HARSHER PENALTIES FOR CHILD TRAFFICKERS: ‘BAD DECISION’
On to California, where Dems just blocked a bill to make child trafficking a serious felony. Why would you do that? It would have punished criminals convicted of child trafficking with 25-to-life in prison, but the Dems in the Assembly actually blocked it, and why? They were worried it might lead to longer sentences. Isn’t that the point, you **** idiots. You want a dumb sentence, you dumb ****, pedophile supporting, child mutilating, criminal ass kissing, overtaxing, morally bankrupt drug addicts, street poppers. You are putting innocent, children in danger. I got to calm down.
Now let’s go to NYC, where Manhattan D.A. and human Hot Pocket Alvin Bragg admits even his policies put his own children, his own children in danger.
DA ALVIN BRAGG: I know the statistics that transit crime is down, but when one of my family members gets on the train, I too get a knot in my stomach.
Oh, he’s got a knot in his stomach. You should be grateful, it’s not a bullet. He’s putting his own kids in danger to support a destructive ideology. That is some dad. If anyone deserves to be mugged by reality, it’s him. But it never is him or anybody like him. It’s always someone else. Meanwhile, a new poll reveals 87% of New Yorkers say crime is a serious problem. The other 13% were already murdered, but they’re not waiting around for help anymore, 40% are buying security systems, firearms, tasers, pepper spray and signing up for self-defense classes and some are dressing like this to ward off attackers. But talk about a lose lose. If they’re unsuccessfully defending themselves, they die. And if they win, they’re going to go to jail for manslaughter.
NEW YORK CITY SPENT $50K TO SEND MIGRANTS TO FLORIDA, TEXAS, CHINA: REPORT
And you can guess who New York City Mayor Eric Adams blames for all this. Here’s a hint, not Eric Adams. He says crime itself isn’t a problem. The fact that you know about the crime is, because unless you’ve already been murdered, you probably start your day picking up the news.
NYC MAYOR ERIC ADAMS: They start their day picking up the news, the morning papers, they sit down, and they see some of the most horrific events that may happen throughout the previous day. It plays on your psyche.
Hmm. First of all, the morning paper. What is this, 1977? I mean, yeah, that’s my morning. I walk outside to get the morning paper and hopefully the milkman has already come. Then I go back inside and I churn my butter. But it’s our fault for reading the stories? No, dude, it’s not like crime reporting is a brand new idea from the 2020s. It was there under Bloomberg and Giuliani. There was just less of it because there was less crime. The mayor says it’s the media creating the perception that’s **** ****. Post George Floyd, the media buried all the stats on crime and even lied about the explosion in crime. If the media had actually done their job, how many lives do you think would have been saved?
I mean, do I have to play this damn tape again to remind you how much they gaslighted a country.
CNN/DON LEMON 2020: If you watch a certain state TV and you listen to conservative media, you would think that, you know entire cities are just, you know, embroiled in fights and fires and whatever. We went out, had a great dinner in New York City tonight. People actually walked up to us and said, thank you… New York City was not, you know, a hellscape.
They just walked up and said, thank you. You’re a lying, blood covered **** ****. Seriously! But as bad as things are in New York City, at least we got one thing going for us, we’re not Chicago. Hell, I think people say that in Mogadishu, but Chicago crime spiked by almost 90%, since 2021. The good news? They got rid of that day walking bug-eyed drool dripping goblin. The bad news is the new guy, he might be worse. Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson just released a thick report titled The Blueprint for Creating a More Just and Vibrant City for All. And if you think his blueprint includes stopping crime, you are nuts.
In fact, Mayor Johnson wants to reduce crime fighting due to its racial disparities. But what if some races, for whatever reason, commit more crimes, do we completely stop punishing those crimes, to come to a number where we’re all the same? That doesn’t make any sense. And they say rampant crime is caused by over policing, but crime skyrocketed when the police were defunded, just as we predicted. And yet they lie in, and the media continues to let them lie. Just look at this from that same report. “It’s hard to trust people who don’t look like you.”
The mayor of Chicago actually said that to his constituents, but Blacks aren’t being killed in overwhelming numbers by Whites, they’re being killed by other Black people who look like you mayor **** ****. Someone’s got to speak up for these victims because pretty soon we’re going to run out of them.